As business and entrepreneurship questions go, this is a crucial one:
How do you get others to say ‘yes’ without manipulation or a metaphorical arm twist – purely through the power of your argument, character, and communication?
Whether it’s a manager, a team, a colleague, a client, or an entire organisation, we all have people we need to influence and persuade. Yet, doing so effectively – and ethically – can be easier said than done. While there are many tools and techniques to help, real success depends on understanding the core foundations that underpin influential behaviour.
Let’s take a fresh look at the four essential pillars.
1. Rapport
Rapport may be intangible, but you know when it’s there. It feels like shared ground – a mutual sense of trust, understanding and ease. In the workplace, it often stems from aligned goals, collaborative energy, and a shared sense of humour or experience. This social glue fosters cooperation and increases openness to influence.
Building rapport requires more than surface-level exchanges. It involves active listening, empathy, and small acts of connection. Rapport is built over time, through consistency and genuine interest – not overfamiliarity or forced friendliness, but human connection at work’s natural rhythm.
2. Trust
Trust is the bedrock of influence. If people don’t trust you, they may say ‘yes’ to avoid conflict, but they won’t be truly persuaded – and they may resist or reverse their agreement at the earliest opportunity.
The classic CIPD and University of Bath research still holds true today: trust is made up of four key elements – ability, benevolence, integrity, and predictability. More recent studies echo this, with the 2024 Edelman Trust Barometer finding that 83% of people are more likely to be influenced by someone they consider competent and ethical – and that consistency of behaviour is now seen as more important than ever in uncertain economic times.
Henry L. Stimson, the 20th-century US politician, put it well: “The only way you can make a person trustworthy is to trust them; and the surest way to make them untrustworthy is to distrust them.”
Trust must be mutual, maintained, and modelled – especially by those in leadership roles.
3. Ethics
Persuasion without ethics is manipulation. And manipulation, however skilfully performed, is short-term thinking. Ethical influencing means ensuring the other person has genuine choice, with transparent information – including what’s in it for you.
This is particularly important in today’s hyper-connected workplace, where reputation is shaped quickly and widely. In a recent survey, 72% of professionals said they were less likely to act on a suggestion if they felt the proposer had hidden motives or lacked transparency.
Influence with integrity means considering the impact of that ‘yes’. Is it truly in the other person’s best interest too? Ethical influencing creates sustainable relationships – and long-term effectiveness.
4. Self-awareness
You may believe you’re being ethical, trustworthy, and engaging – but do others experience you that way? Self-awareness is the key to aligning intention with impact.
It’s also worth reflecting on how you prefer to be influenced. People tend to default to tactics that appeal to their own preferences, but this may not resonate with others. The more you understand your own style, the more flexibly – and effectively – you can adjust your approach.
Final thoughts
Techniques for influencing and persuading are certainly worth learning – whether it’s the Broken Record, the Goldilocks Principle, or ‘push’ vs ‘pull’ strategies. But they only work when grounded in these four essentials: rapport, trust, ethics, and self-awareness.
Influence is not a trick. It’s a skill, a mindset, and a relationship-based process that takes intention, effort, and empathy. Nail the foundations – and the strategies will follow.
